Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Popular National Strategies to enhance investment opportunities in 2008

The DUBAI SYSTEM - You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise in all magazines and Cable TV. You create a Cow City or Milk Town. You sell off their milk before the cows are milked, to both legit and shady investors, who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two month time. You bring Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods to milk the cows to attract attention.

The QATAR SYSTEM - You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows, in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

The SAUDI SYSTEM - Since milking the cow involves feminine body parts, the Government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have the cow at one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other side; or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.

The BAHRAIN SYSTEM - You have two cows. Some influential guy steals one cow, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrain residents to milk the remaining cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

The LEBANON SYSTEM - You have two cows. One is owned by Syria, the other by the Lebanese Government both are milked by Syrian Laborers during their free time as informers.

The EGYPT SYSTEM - You have two cows. Both have to vote for Mubarak!

The AMERICAN STRATEGY - You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

The FRENCH STRATEGY - You have two cows and have no idea what to do with them. It doesn't really matter, you go on strike anyway because you feel you need three cows.

The RUSSIAN STRATEGY - You have two cows. You count them and find out you have five cows. You count again and find out you have eight cows. You count again and out you have 20 cows. You are so happy, you stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka.

The BRITISH STRATEGY - You have two cows. You have to admit that both are mad!